Birthday Picture of me at the Friary-

This is from my dear friend Frank. In response to my blog on the post of the "Friary Adventures."

Well it is my Birthday Today.

Well it is that time of year again. It seems to come around a lot faster now a days. It was great having the Mermaid here for a few weeks. I got to open my pressies yesterday and had a nice Birthday Tea with her and Mrs. Tarf before having to take her to the airport. ( Mrs.Tarf didn't have a ticket so she had to stay). Just as well I need someone to keep me in line.



Now before you ask me how old I am. It depends on who you ask. I still remember the Milkman coming around to my Gran's House with horse and cart. The Ice Man delivering blocks of ice that they cut from the Georgian Bay the winter before for the icebox. It has been a great life so far with lots of adventures and being able to spend quality time with both Mrs. Tarf and our daughter this year and with good friends was the best present of all.

My, they grow up so fast. This time I finally saw her all grown up and it was a shock to my system. I am really proud of her for what she has been able to accomplish on her own.

Well the Bar is now open, so excuse me, while I get a little Intoxicated.

Cat in a Hat- It's a Catastrophe meows "Patches"

It is not as Eggciting as you think .


Where is my whiskey . I need to drown my shame.

I need a Lawyer!! Meow.

Little Known Illnesses

AFROPHOBIA: Fear of the return of the 70's hair styles.

DEJA FLU: The feeling that one has had this cold before.

HYPOCOINDRIA: Fear of not having the correct change.

HAIRPIECE SWIMPLEX: Rash caused by wearing a toupee in a pool.

CELESTIAL SEASONINGS AFFECTIVE DISORDER: Herbal Tea Addiction.

VISACARDITIS: The heart stopping sensation brought on by exceeding your credit limit.

OREOPOROSIS: Disorder causd by too many cookies, and not enough milk.

SONSTROKE: An attack during the reading of a will.

ROSWELL-BABY SYNDROME: Irrational fear that one's infant might be a Mermaid.

What is happening in our life today

Do men ask for directions-Yes or No?

Why is it that Men do not ask for directions? We tend to rather go around in circles than actually stop and ask someone how to get where we have to go. Also looking at a map is also out of the question?

Is it male pride? Or is it Male stubbornness? What is it? Or is it when we get directions we have no idea what they mean?

Your comments please!!

Further Misadventures of a Chip Monk/Friar

This is a follow up to a previous post about my time at the Alnmouth Friary in Northumberland.. I am showing a picture of the gardens and the bell that I got tangled up in one drunken evening playing hide and go seek in the middle of the night with the other inmates and several flash lights. We snuck out to head to the local boozer. Where I was looking after the interests of the young Gents would were Community Pillars ( had to stay at the Friary or go to reform school). As I was mistakeningly thought to be rather responsible, they were under my care. I think the only reason I got the job was I was their age as opposed to 40+, and nobody else wanted the job.

On returning to the Friary after the pub closed. I came up with the bright idea of playing hide and go seek on the Friary Grounds. The person who was" IT;" had the flash light and had to find the others. By shining the light on the ones hiding. Any ways in my rather muddled or lack of thinking straight. I decided to climb up on the Chapel and hid in the Bell Tower Area. As you can tell from the Picture it wasn't a terrible large area to hide. Tom had found all the rest but they started to call my name which wasn't a good idea. As after Evening Prayers there was a rule of complete and utter silence until lunch time the next day. The game started to go down hill ( lose the fun) at that moment.


( I could not resist this cartoon, I really do need to see a Shrink.) :)

I woke up as my name was being yelled about and found my self caught in the bongy thingy ( clanger) of the Bell with my cowl trapped. So each time I moved the damn bell rang all the more, as I struggled to get untangled, more the bell moved and rang.

The guys on the ground started to howl with laughter and me being none to bright started to Hoot and Howl ( probably a few @#$!&^%*( swear words) as well which made the Chapel Bell ring all the harder. ( Clang,Clang,Clang, Clang) You could hear the racket in the Town itself as we were on a hillside over looking most of the Town. It is not very often you have a Church Bell ring in the early, early morning or late at night, depending on your point of view. especially with a drunken Friar with his Habit snagged in the Bell.

Then the light went on in the Father Guardian's room above the Chapel. The Boys scuppered back to their rooms; like termites fleeing the light turned on in the kitchen; leaving me to face the wrath of an Almighty, Pissed Off; Head Friar. I would rather have been struck by lightening at that moment than to face the wrath of Father Edward. All he said to me was in the coldest depths of icy hell like voice. I ever heard and it still sends shivers down my spine. It is like the look that my wife gives me on occasion. "Thank You, Brother Don for an almost enjoyable evening entertainment. I will speak to Youuuu, in the morning , Brother after your confession and penitence. I am sure the rest of the house will find a suitable punishment." He and the rest of the older Friars took turns flaying me alive the next day (figural speaking that is ).

I was brought up to the rest of the house for discipline and had to do the worst mucking out jobs and not be spoken to by any of them for two weeks. I still was to look after the Borstal Boys. I was under close House Arrest as occasionally one of the Brothers would check up on me to see if I was still in my cell. As I mentioned in my other post, my days as a Religious were hastily drawing to a close. I was "really trying" to do the right thing. ( Looking back "really trying" was very true.) The right thing not so much.

Husband/Partner of the Year Awards

Starting off the competition for Husband/Partner of the year.
Honorable Mention goes to the United kingdom.



Followed closely by the United States.




And then Poland.


3rd. Place has to go to Greece.



2nd. Place goes to Serbia.


The Winner of this year- is the Irish
You got to love the Irish.


Look, He is even holding Her hand. How Romantic is that.

Fortune Cookie for the day- Said " Beware of odors from strange places!"

Little Poem; I put together for you. As I am running out of Gassssssss.


A Fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in the winter,
And suffocates the cats fleas.

A Fart can be soft and quiet,
A Fart can be loud and Proud,
Some can leave a powerful,
Stinking poisonous Cloud,

A Fart can be sweet and short,
Or a Fart can be puffy Long,
Some Farts have been known,
To sound like a lot of my Songs.

A Fart can create,
A most curious medley,
A Fart can be harmless,
Or silent,quiet and deadly.

A Fart always does occur,
In a myriad of embarrsing places,
And leaves everyone there,
With squinty eyes and strange looks on their faces.

From the high Rocky Mountain places,
To the seats of Newfoundland theaters,
A Fart will find each and everyone of us,
Much sooner than later.

Anyone know a good Shrink???

Amazing: Flying Penguins in a BBC Documentary

This is a real Hoot. What an Aprils Fools Gag.