Thoughts for the Day

GOLF FOR BEGINNERS


GOOD RECOVERY


REVENGE IS SWEET


HOW MEN SCREW UP ROMANCE

Well Tomorrow is my Birthday- got a new fire extinguisher for the candles

It is hard to believe that I will be another year older tomorrow. MY Mother once sent me a Birthday Card many years ago for my 18th. It took over a year to find me as I had moved that often. She wrote "I am surprised that you lived this Long. Oh, by the way Happy Birthday, Brat. And isn't it time you write to me.

Did you break an Arm? Did you get kidnapped by Aliens? Did your Pen run out of Ink?
Did you run out of Spit to lick a stamp? Why the @@@@@@ silence, better write me soon!!"

It was on a large Post card of Wasaga Beach, Ontario. ( I still have that card). I always managed to send her a Mothers Day Card even if I forgot her Birthday. She told me as long as she gets a Mothers day card that way she knows that I still loved her and think of Her. Un- fortunately she passed away over 31 years ago. So I always made sure to remember her on Mothers Day and still do.

Each Mothers Day when I was over in the UK. I always sent two Cards one for Mothering Sunday in the UK and one for Mothers Day in May in Canada.

You be the Judge- Did Prince Philip let one?

Now I ask you. HRH Prince Philip looks like he let one and it must of been a real ripper.
Last Picture of the Queen's squinty face tells it all. And do not forget Prince Harry holding his nose.

Out of the Mouth of Babes

1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!
1.
Don't change horses
until they stop running.
2.
Strike while the
bug is close.
3.
It's always darkest before
Daylight Saving Time.
4.
Never underestimate the power of
termites.
5.
You can lead a horse to water but
How?
6.
Don't bite the hand that
looks dirty.
7.
No news is
impossible
8.
A miss is as good as a
Mr.
9.
You can't teach an old dog new
Math
10.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll
stink in the morning.
11.
Love all, trust
Me.
12.
The pen is mightier than the
pigs.
13.
An idle mind is
the best way to relax.
14.
Where there's smoke there's
pollution.
15.
Happy the bride who
gets all the presents.
16.
A penny saved is
not much.
17.
Two's company, three's
the Musketeers.
18.
Don't put off till tomorrow what
you put on to go to bed.
19.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
You have to blow your nose.
20.
There are none so blind as
Stevie Wonder.
21.
Children should be seen and not
spanked or grounded.
22.
If at first you don't succeed
get new batteries.
23.
You get out of something only what you
See in the picture on the box
24.
When the blind lead the blind
get out of the way.
25.
A bird in the hand
is going to poop on you.
And
the WINNER and last one!
26.
Better late than
Pregnant

What noise- I do not hear any noise-

We have all heard of "Male Selective Hearing", which seems to be aliment which inflicts not only Men; but Women as well. IMHO

It is true when my spouse is chatting to me about something and the Telly is on, I am reading a book or the newspaper. What information she maybe trying to impart to me is going in one ear and out the other.

I just like to say that "men" are not the only ones who are bothered by this problem. "Women" are as guilty as we are.

The situations may be different but the same outcome. For example, how many of you gentlemen get into the family car after your wife or spouse has driven it for a time and notice that the radio is full blast. You turn on the car and straight away the radio's volume blows you out of the car. So what do you do you turn down or turn off the radio and take the car out for a drive or to get some more beer etc.

There is a strange noise that wasn't there before, a ping or clank, the engine sounds a little different that normal. So you listen to it for a while then it dawns on you what the trouble maybe. This I am sure our resident expert from the Jungle could explain better than I. About the Male's role in the wild listening out for sounds that could have negative effect on his safety and that of his family.

" Female Selective Hearing" has occurred. So you get home and ask if your wife has noticed anything different with the car lately, some noise, rattle? They always say " I heard that didn't know what it was so I turned up the radio so it would go away."

A case in point. I was out for a walk yesterday to meet my wife on her way home from work. I was cutting through the Dartmouth Sportsplex parking lot. When I heard this awful clank, clank, clank coming from behind me. I though it was Jason with his chain saw. Turned and saw this little old dear driving this grey car coming into the parking lot. As she got out of the car the music was deafening. I told her about the noise I was hearing as she was driving and said it sounds like the CV Joints or drive shaft about to give way.

She turned to me and glared " What noise, I do not hear anything." So I left it like that and continued to ponder in amazement on why I even bothered.

So you see, it affects us all. Sometimes in the same way; other times a little different but it still get's us both. "Male Selective Hearing" Bah Humbug!!!!!!!!!!