Joint Accounts- another Mars and Venus Issue

We have a Joint Account and it works out great that way. We both have control over what goes in and how it is spent. No secret Bank Accounts. Not that we could afford more than one. With all the ridiculous charges that the banks make from you every month.

I always pay all the bills first each month, then the rest either goes on groceries, repairs and extras. When we first started going together. I used to do the accounts 6 months in advance and it used to drive G. nuts but it worked out. Now it is just a month in advance. As I do everything or almost everything on line; "account wise".

Some things are just a lot better in person. (HA,HA)

Toilet Seat Humour-Do you leave yours "Up or Down"?

This is another Mars and Venus issue in the Home. I have been well trained. I always leave it down after the fact. It is one less thing that I can get in trouble for.

Changing the Canadian Currency

Darned clever, Bravo Canada! IMHO ( If it would only happen.) LOL

Perhaps America and Europe should consider changing their currencies too.

Due to the global war on terrorism, many terrorist organizations have had their finances frozen. Consequently, they have resorted to counterfeiting.

The Canadians have decided to redesign their currency to prevent the radical Muslims from even touching it! It is also hoped that this will have a positive effect on tourism. Due to the strength of the Canadian Dollar.







Muslim terrorists have to kill themselves if they see a naked woman, the Canadians always find the solution! Must be the pure water up here in the North. EH!

Living in the Past

It seems as though when one gets older, the advice you tend to give is always based on past experiences good or bad.
Why is it that? One always seems to live in the past. If only But!

People roll their eyes and glasses fog over as you bore the people to death with tales of your past glories and foibles.

To you it is important and it is the main reason for you being who you are to this date.

I remember; when I walked to school in ten feet of snow and fought off the Wolves so I could drag my Moose carcass to Grandmas House. Or we didn't have Telly when I was younger only the Radio. I carved my initials on the rock tablets as we didn't have paper to draw on.

We actually read books and played outside in the rain. We had to sit up straight or had our fingers rapped by the teachers.

NO ONE CARES!!!!! Not even the Cat.

Except Me,Myself and I.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY. I will be a little under the weather for the next few days.

So everyone have a safe and rowdy weekend. I intend to do just that.



As the weather is the pits. Here is a little Irish warmth for you to enjoy or some of us anyways.

Who, does this picture remind you of and why?

Reminds me of someone, who really doesn't like Guinness after the 3rd pint. Leaves more for me to enjoy.

Reminds me of Jean Cretin, who saw Paul Martin in his house with his Inuit Carving.



Please share your thoughts.

Yorkshire Airlines

The only way to fly. I always enjoyed Newsprint on my Chips. They have taken over from Air Canada on trips to Nova Scotia.

Is this the reason they outlawed Fox Hunting?

Takes the term "Hunting Vermin" to new lows.

Which way do you hang your Toilet Rolls?

Toilet Rolls is there a right way to place them?

Well here I am again. Had this argument again with my Ball and Strife. So what do you think??

So many people have pondered this issue over the years and countless Marriages and Relationships have gone down the Crappper over this Question.

DO YOU LET THE TOILET ROLL HANG UNDER OR OVER?

Is better to be able to let the paper hang down so you can get it easier and not have to grope in shear panic as the need arises. Or does it look better over and so not as messy looking in the Bathroom.

This week it appears that my home has been invaded by a paper over person who insists on changing the roll everytime I put it, back to under. Wars and Political insability have been caused over stuff less serious than correct bathroom procedure.




Hence the reason for the Pictorial of proper Toilet Protocol. The Do's and Don'ts of using a Toilet.

But why all the fuss? Surely the job in hand is more important than the presentation and it all goes down the flush the same. So why do we waste so much time and effort on this meaningless gesture. It is purely a matter of one's personal preference and the inability of the other Household Members too admit that they are wrong.

On the other hand! Those people who do not have a toilet roll holder or are to lazy to use it. Simply plonk the Toilet Roll down on the Toilet or Loo Floor. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Cause nothing but turmoil too the other 2/3 of Society and should be banned to a Deserted Island, with nothing but Coin Pay Toilets and have only Bank-notes.

We were talking to some Pirates in the Halifax Hbr, who Loot and Pillage for the Tourist dollars on a Square Rigger. They use only 2 Ply as opposed to Single Ply to put in their Cannons with a black powder charge and then fire it off. It gives off a lot of sparks and smoke and bits of fire. It looks and sounds great. The single ply just doesn't cut the mustard. Finally Pirate's who have some couth and soft bottoms.

More Flush-able Waste put into our so clean Harbor. Oh, Well!

Why on earth would someone buy single ply when 2 ply is the same price and a lot nicer. I think it is the same Folks Who plonk their toilet rolls purposely on the floor or back of the Tank. SO IT CAN GET FULL OF GERMS AND OTHER CRAP. So the rest of us then can complain that it is not "Over or Under."

I think, I know why our Lass has such an affinity to Toilets and Poo. It kind of Runs in the family. You could almost; say it is in the "Jeanssss".

I have often been told . I am full of it. ( That to my family is a Compliment.)

Rhinoceros Party of Canada

Canadian Politics you gotta love it. We go from the sublime to the absolute ridiculous. The Rhino Party of Canada. Always had the best slogans and victory parties.
The Victory Party was always held the day before the Election. As a Government Employee I was not allowed to get involved in the mainstream political life at the time. So as the Rhino's had their National Office down the street at some tenement building. Went down to party. One of the idea's, I really liked was to dry up the St. Lawrence Seaway by burning logs in the River thus separating us from the United States and making it easier to get cheaper booze.

Tales from the Friary-Misadventures of a Chip Monk

This is a picture of the Alnmouth Friary from the road side.

I like to start with how I arrived here in the first place. After the Isle of Wight Festival. I met up with one of the chaps I came over to the UK with in Trafalgars Square. He happened to have 2 First Class Rail Passes given to him from two Priests, He met at the Festival who were from the Community of the Resurrection in Mirfield. So Michele and I headed to the nearest Train Station which happened to be across the road at Charring Cross I believe. Well we got on board First Class and when the conductor came, thought he was going to have a fit. Here are two shaggy and miskempt Hippies sitting in a first class compartment drinking wine from a bottle in a brown paper bag. So after we showed him our tickets, he calmed down a little. Until we asked him when will we get to Scotland. ( Now I never considered myself a Hippy. As I was not fat around the Ass. I was a Yippie ( having fun and games). I became a Hippy once I reached an older age and was no longer a size 28 waist.)

Well, you thought we were asking him for money or something.( I realize that Ek would have been a proper Gentleman. and gladly given us the correct information). He called us a bunch of &&*& and %##@# Bloody Yanks. That we were on the wrong F@#@$%$g Train as we were going South not North. I complained to the Station master and we got some free food tokens.

So we went south for a while until the train stopped and then Busked outside of the station until the next train back to Charring Cross Station. From there we went up to north London and got on at Euston Station or something and Headed to Scotland. It was fun traveling first class, no one wanted to sit in the compartment with us which was fine. Never did figure it out!

Every-time, we changed trains we went out to busk for our dinner and ect. We went as far north as we could; to Wick. Our plan was to go as far north as we could and then as far south in Cornwall in the time frame of 4 or 5 days as that was all the time left on our passes. We did get waylaid for a day in Inverness as we stopped to watch a Beatles movie at the local theatre with two american lassies.

When we got back in the train and were heading back to England. As we crossed the border into Northhumberland, it was almost 12 midnight and the tickets were running out fast. The only address we had was the Alnmouth Friary, why we had that no one knows or remembers to this day.( I used this argument as a Divine sign for me to train as a Priest.) So we got out at Alnwick and walked the 4 or so miles to Alnmouth. Knocked on the door in the middle of the night and one of the Brothers who was called Damian answered and let us in for the night.

The next day we were ushered into Father Edward's Office and asked why we showed up. I think they wanted to get rid of us right away. Michele wanted to leave so he did and came back a week or so later. I told them I wanted to become a Friar that I felt God was calling me to the life and I really did at the time.

Anyway I got a reprieve for a few days and Michele was allowed to stay for awhile longer. A few days later Father Michael who Head of the Order just happened to show up and he was very happy to have a young person join as a Novice. One of the Brothers Damien ( we were both studying to become Priests. He was far more studious than me although he made good wine. I was kind of the partying sort and not very good at keeping all my vows.) to be fair I did keep the vow of poverty very well as I had no money but the Life Vows of Obedience and Chastity. Went out the window. As I did on more than one occasion at the All Girls Teacher Training College in Alnwick.

Where I was sent to work 2 days a week and with the local schools on behalf of the Friary. Being a younger person, who played guitar albeit not very well , I was working with the youth of the area. Michele and Larry came up quite often to stay at the Friary to visit and when they were there came along as well . We got a lot of requests from the Toc H and Various Church Youth Groups to get involved with the inner city kids. So much so, that I was away most weekends. A lot of money was going back to the Friary unknown to us as a kind of free will offering. Michele and Larry were able to move in for the Winter Season.

Damian ( who later became a Priest and the Head of the S S.F.) explained that to me one day, as most of the Brother's wanted me out but the accounts were good; so put up with me for awhile longer. I even got a small allowance each week, it was spent on the good stuff and beer.

To try and curb my lack of decorum. I was put in charge of cutting down dead tree's on the Duke of Norfolk's Land and collecting the Sea Coal washed up on the beach after storms to heat the Friary. You can imagine a silly little fellow in his robes up to his waist sometimes, in the North Sea. Dragging in chunks of Coal and breaking them up with sledge hammers. I was in my element; outside, away from the Brothers and able to have a spot of fun at the same time. Larry and Michele came with me as my helpers when they were around. By the time I left the Friary at Alnmouth. They had enough wood and coal stored up for 3 or 4 years. I do miss the Pub's as I used to sneak down quite often and play my guitar and sing for free drinks. Then stagger back up the hill and try not to get caught by Father Edward or any of the Brothers. I was moved to the Annex, as far away from the rest of them as possible with the Borstal Boys. Who had to live at the Friary or go to jail if they didn't. I was supposed to be an example to them. Yah right! I did have my own key to the doors. It was just further temptation which I succumbed. I was to make sure they were all accounted for each night and keep an eye on them. Which I did; down at the Pub.

I was invited one night to the Duke of Norfolk's Game Keepers home on the Estate. One of his daughter's went to the Teacher's Training School. ( You get the picture). The parents finally did too!! I had probably one of my best meals for a long time as on Friday's, it was Oxfam Day in those days. You only got dry toast , soup and Marmite (UGHHHHH) and left overs from the day before. Money saved went to help the starving children in the missions.

So to have meat and to be able to talk at supper was a real treat. I had 3 too many glasses of wine and was asked how I enjoyed the meal. I grew up in a very sarcastic household; the order of the day was to insult everyone at home as that is what we did and still do.

I told the Lady , that the meal was almost edible. She went ballistic.

In my household that was a compliment. I was never invited back again. Go figure. Women, no sense of humour !!!!!

My days at the Friary were now well and truly numbered. The indiscretions pilled up and finally got back to the Father Guardian who couldn't turn the other cheek and I had to go. ( I will carry on with a few more tales from the Friary in my next blog.) Playing poker in the Crypt, Game eye at the dinnner table, Drinking with the Borstal boys, Getting stuck in the belfry, fire on the hillside at Guys Fawkes Night. Only a few of my many Mis-Adventures at the SSF. I really wanted to be a Friar but ended up the Chip Monk instead.