Two Tails of One Kitty

This is a picture of my Cousin Bob and Lois with Ginny and I on Holiday together in May of 2008.


Well My Cousin Bob who lives in Hope, BC. They have this Cat named Mercedes Benz the reason for the name was Bob always wanted to have a Mercedes Benz Car. So one Christmas his family told him they got him a Mercedes Benz out in the Garage for him as a Christmas Present. So Bob blind to the fact that they can only just afford the gas in his SUV staggers out in to the Garage looking for this fancy present. So He walks into the Garage turns on the light and no car but this little furry Kitten is laying in a box that has drawn on it a car with a little note. Here is your Mercedes Benz. The Cat is now 8 years old and still living with my Cousins.

Well, several years ago. I went out to help Bob Paint his new store. They were going to expand the business from a little run of the mill Jewelery Store come Junk Shop on it's last legs. He was getting the OK for a Sears Outlet Store with Appliances, TVs etc and a real chance to turn things around. So As my Uncle Joe and Aunt Mildred are getting up there thought I kill two birds with one stone and went out for two weeks. Well I stayed at Bob and Lois's Place and was sitting in a Wooden Rocking Chair having a Beer, I only just got there about 2 hours. This rather large Cat came in the front door and immediately jumped on my lap, stood up and put it's paws on my shoulders and started to kiss my face then promptly sat on my lap and went to sleep.

( My friends and Family call me the Cat Whisperer as strange cats seem to come up to me.)

Bob and Lois were thunder struck as this cat doesn't like to be petted and avoids strangers and never show any sort of affection unless it wants to be fed. They hadn't seen Mercedes for 3 days as they live right at the foot of the Rocky Mountains and he goes off hunting for days at a time.



This is the view from Bob's back door at his place.


Well for the two weeks, I was there this cat was my constant companion. He came down and slept in my room right on top of my blue suitcase which got covered in cat hair. I always have a glass of water to drink during the night. One night I woke up and heard a lap, lap,lap, lap right beside my head. I turned the light on and the damn cat was drinking from my glass. So for about 10 days or so I was drinking water with Cat's Spit in it, unbeknown to me. So I stopped drinking water in a glass and now have a covered plastic water bottle. The Cat still follows me around when ever we visit my cousins.

"Have Caulking Gun Will Travel" and Silicone almost anything

I found out recently that Silicone is a very sticky substance. (actually I found that out a long time ago). I have used Silicone or caulking to fix and seal a lot of stuff over the years. I have used it to mend sinks and along the floors to stop leaks, around bathtubs and basins. To hold tile and boards to mend boats and make gaskets to stop leaks at the trailer. Fill in little gashes on metal etc. I have used 100's of tubes over the years as part of preventive maintenance. Sealing the outside from getting inside on windows and door to roofing and flashing.

There was a problem last fall at the camp with our bathroom sink that wouldn't stop dripping. So in the fall as the water was turned off. I found the plumbing to be faulty in the bathroom and promptly went out to find parts for the trailer. As anybody would know who has also went to look for parts for your RV as you tend to need them ( parts) on the weekend the problems occur. You can buy a new trailer on a weekend but no parts what-so ever are to be found from an RV Dealership even those with Spare parts Dept. As the Parts Dept. are not open on weekends. It really doesn't make a lot of sense to me. As one only realizes, you have a problem or need something on a weekend.

So I cut the pipes knowing ( so I thought anyways) I could fix them in the spring, before I turned the water on again. So the Spring now arrives. I cannot find in any Hardware Store 3/8 inch Pvc pipe or connectors or any one who knows anything about Plumbing in a Plumbing Store or Dept. of Home Hardware or Home Depot or even Kent's. So I found out by chance something called compression fittings or caps in a 3/8 but know one has any idea how they work. Or even if they would work; to stop the water from flowing out and flooding the trailer once the water was turned on. So I bought 4. I got more Airmiles that way. I read the directions for use. Yes I actually did read them. As real men do-not usually read directions and just wing it. I would have been smarter just to wing it as they were written in every language under the sun with fancy diagrams but still didn't explain how they werre put together and how to use them.

So I did what any red blooded male would do or so I thought anyways. I reached for the Caulking Gun and my trusty Silicone Tube. I filled the water pipes both cold and hot with Silicone just a little at the top. I thought just in case it goes down a long ways and blocks the pipe altogether and then put the compression caps on the top of the cut pipe. Well It worked no water was coming through. So my plan was to use the Shower Hose from the Shower as it stretched to the sink for water to wash up with.


Brilliant I thought. Ginny had other ideas and told me so in very blunt english even I could understand. And asked Jim one of the gang we hang around with to look at the sink and fix what Don had done.. So he came in looked at it and promptly went home and brought back a bunch of stuff to put the water back on, connectors, metal hoses etc.

So He takes off the compression caps to hook up the water. Found we didn't have enough piping to do both hot and cold water as all he had; was standard stuff that didn't fit. No, problem we will just make due and put on the hot water only use the pipe that is under the sink and connect them." I found some compression tees to use ." He told me with a smile." Do not know if they will work though as I can't understand the instructions but they are 3/8." Well, it was deja vue . I already knew that. Didn't want to say anything as He is an Handy Man with the County Housing Authority. I am used to having someone repair what I attempt to fix anyways.

So He looks and sees silicone in the pipes. " Who the hell put silicone in the pipes." He asked rather loudly " I did" I said very quietly and starting to realize maybe it wasn't such a good idea. "Well you know where to shove your silicone the next time you have a plumbing problem . Just bend over." He scolded me.

Meanwhile this was attracting a lot of curious onlookers with their beer and rum as my repair job was becoming the joke of the camp ground. Due to the very excitable sounds coming from the bathroom of our Trailer. Well it got worse the little caulking I used was a lot and I managed to plug up both the pipes a very long ways down. He got a wire hanger and proceed to push it down through the pipe to clear the silicone which he thought he did. And put the pipe together with the tee connector. He then got the pipe connected to the hot water on the sink and put new taps in as well. The crowd was getting bigger and more laughter.

The magic moment arrived the water was turned on but no water. @@#@#$%$#@@##$%$#@ing. Which got even more laughs from the deck. Jim was beaten. My beer was all drunk.

"I WILL BE BACK IN TWO WEEKS GET SOME 3/8 PIPE AND WE WILL HAVE ANOTHER GO." He took my caulking gun with him and the crowd followed him back to his camp. I was now known as Silicone Don.

I went the next day on a Monday and lo and behold the Parts Dept of the RV places were open. I found the pipe I needed different color and the guy at the desk explained how the compression fittings were to be used. Emboldened or humiliated from the day before latter more than likely. I drove up to the camp to fix the problem myself. I asked Ernie to hold my beer and to watch so He was a witness and I managed to fix the problem myself but I had to keep cutting the pipe down till almost none was left to find water as the silicone went down a long ways. Even bought several washers I needed. The Water is now running and Jim is happy, the work has been approved by him. I thanked him for being a very good teacher.

It was a very good thing he didn't turn on the cold water tap . As I have Hot water coming out of the Cold water and Cold coming out of the Hot. Hey it works and I got a new Caulking Gun with Silicone just in case in the Bathroom drawer. You can never be too careful.

So what plumbing horror stories do you have??

Birthday Picture of me at the Friary-

This is from my dear friend Frank. In response to my blog on the post of the "Friary Adventures."

Little Known Illnesses

AFROPHOBIA: Fear of the return of the 70's hair styles.

DEJA FLU: The feeling that one has had this cold before.

HYPOCOINDRIA: Fear of not having the correct change.

HAIRPIECE SWIMPLEX: Rash caused by wearing a toupee in a pool.

CELESTIAL SEASONINGS AFFECTIVE DISORDER: Herbal Tea Addiction.

VISACARDITIS: The heart stopping sensation brought on by exceeding your credit limit.

OREOPOROSIS: Disorder causd by too many cookies, and not enough milk.

SONSTROKE: An attack during the reading of a will.

ROSWELL-BABY SYNDROME: Irrational fear that one's infant might be a Mermaid.

Husband/Partner of the Year Awards

Starting off the competition for Husband/Partner of the year.
Honorable Mention goes to the United kingdom.



Followed closely by the United States.




And then Poland.


3rd. Place has to go to Greece.



2nd. Place goes to Serbia.


The Winner of this year- is the Irish
You got to love the Irish.


Look, He is even holding Her hand. How Romantic is that.

Toilet Seat Humour-Do you leave yours "Up or Down"?

This is another Mars and Venus issue in the Home. I have been well trained. I always leave it down after the fact. It is one less thing that I can get in trouble for.

Changing the Canadian Currency

Darned clever, Bravo Canada! IMHO ( If it would only happen.) LOL

Perhaps America and Europe should consider changing their currencies too.

Due to the global war on terrorism, many terrorist organizations have had their finances frozen. Consequently, they have resorted to counterfeiting.

The Canadians have decided to redesign their currency to prevent the radical Muslims from even touching it! It is also hoped that this will have a positive effect on tourism. Due to the strength of the Canadian Dollar.







Muslim terrorists have to kill themselves if they see a naked woman, the Canadians always find the solution! Must be the pure water up here in the North. EH!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY. I will be a little under the weather for the next few days.

So everyone have a safe and rowdy weekend. I intend to do just that.



As the weather is the pits. Here is a little Irish warmth for you to enjoy or some of us anyways.

Who, does this picture remind you of and why?

Reminds me of someone, who really doesn't like Guinness after the 3rd pint. Leaves more for me to enjoy.

Reminds me of Jean Cretin, who saw Paul Martin in his house with his Inuit Carving.



Please share your thoughts.

Is this the reason they outlawed Fox Hunting?

Takes the term "Hunting Vermin" to new lows.

Which way do you hang your Toilet Rolls?

Toilet Rolls is there a right way to place them?

Well here I am again. Had this argument again with my Ball and Strife. So what do you think??

So many people have pondered this issue over the years and countless Marriages and Relationships have gone down the Crappper over this Question.

DO YOU LET THE TOILET ROLL HANG UNDER OR OVER?

Is better to be able to let the paper hang down so you can get it easier and not have to grope in shear panic as the need arises. Or does it look better over and so not as messy looking in the Bathroom.

This week it appears that my home has been invaded by a paper over person who insists on changing the roll everytime I put it, back to under. Wars and Political insability have been caused over stuff less serious than correct bathroom procedure.




Hence the reason for the Pictorial of proper Toilet Protocol. The Do's and Don'ts of using a Toilet.

But why all the fuss? Surely the job in hand is more important than the presentation and it all goes down the flush the same. So why do we waste so much time and effort on this meaningless gesture. It is purely a matter of one's personal preference and the inability of the other Household Members too admit that they are wrong.

On the other hand! Those people who do not have a toilet roll holder or are to lazy to use it. Simply plonk the Toilet Roll down on the Toilet or Loo Floor. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Cause nothing but turmoil too the other 2/3 of Society and should be banned to a Deserted Island, with nothing but Coin Pay Toilets and have only Bank-notes.

We were talking to some Pirates in the Halifax Hbr, who Loot and Pillage for the Tourist dollars on a Square Rigger. They use only 2 Ply as opposed to Single Ply to put in their Cannons with a black powder charge and then fire it off. It gives off a lot of sparks and smoke and bits of fire. It looks and sounds great. The single ply just doesn't cut the mustard. Finally Pirate's who have some couth and soft bottoms.

More Flush-able Waste put into our so clean Harbor. Oh, Well!

Why on earth would someone buy single ply when 2 ply is the same price and a lot nicer. I think it is the same Folks Who plonk their toilet rolls purposely on the floor or back of the Tank. SO IT CAN GET FULL OF GERMS AND OTHER CRAP. So the rest of us then can complain that it is not "Over or Under."

I think, I know why our Lass has such an affinity to Toilets and Poo. It kind of Runs in the family. You could almost; say it is in the "Jeanssss".

I have often been told . I am full of it. ( That to my family is a Compliment.)

Rhinoceros Party of Canada

Canadian Politics you gotta love it. We go from the sublime to the absolute ridiculous. The Rhino Party of Canada. Always had the best slogans and victory parties.
The Victory Party was always held the day before the Election. As a Government Employee I was not allowed to get involved in the mainstream political life at the time. So as the Rhino's had their National Office down the street at some tenement building. Went down to party. One of the idea's, I really liked was to dry up the St. Lawrence Seaway by burning logs in the River thus separating us from the United States and making it easier to get cheaper booze.

In Honor of EK's -Fo"Ray" into the Fish Jokes

Here is a cartoon to see us off into the Weekend. Have a great one guys. It must be five O'clock somewhere. I can be baited really easy.